How do I find out “What do I want?” – a Kubernetik for self-discovery and goal setting

Kübernetik Einfluss-Matrix zur Selbstfindung "Was will ich?"

What goals do you want to pursue and achieve? What has to change? But the basis is the question: “What do I want at all?”.

The question is not easy to answer, as everyone is influenced by family or social mindsets about what one should want. Time to deal with what is good for you to find yourself.

Kubernetik with Excel

Excel-Kübernetik, because I could foresee in advance that there would be more influence variables. It has become 17 and therefore a table makes sense, due to the clarity, instead of using the Kubernetik canvas with pen and paper.

Table with influence sizes to find out what I want?>

Table with influence sizes to find out what I want?

How question

How do I find out what I want?

response phrase 1

The most important thing for me to find out what I want is that I understand my driving motives, find my potential talents and be in a good emotional & physical condition for the self-discovery process.

response phrase 2

I should start working with a very experienced life coach, ask my best and longtime friends what they think and do a goal or vision meditation (with coach or audio).


  • Buy audio for (vision/target) meditation
  • ask my 3 best friends what they think I really want



The result of my self-discovery analysis feels coherent and really good for me. Of course, the determination of the influencing variables and the filling out of the influence matrix (in Kübernetik-Excel) or the relationship map (in Kübernetik-Canvas) is strongly determined by subjective assessments.

But that’s exactly what it’s all about: entering a network if it feels intuitively good. Even if you can’t say why. >/block-quota The answer sentence 1 makes very clear why it is so essential to find out and know your most important basic motives. At the same time, it is not easy to identify them. The first answer sentence points to the “heart” of the problem of the complex question. In Kubernetik, it is of extraordinary importance that those influencing variables are not directly addressed. They can only be controlled indirectly by other determining factors. The response sentence 2 helps to determine the most effective control elements here. In this case, it has become clear that external expertise is essential for me. First and foremost by a professional who, from countless coaching sessions, usually immediately develops a feeling for what it is all about and what motives guide you. I will dare.

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